Watch out for puddles

I remember a story from when I was a kid and my family lived in Oakland, CA. There was fire and mom stopped to watch it only to find me sitting in a huge puddle filled with (and covered by) black soot. Someone else noticed and said something like, "Whose kid is that, anyway?" My mom just said, "I wonder."

I have always loved puddles. I like water. The Pacific Ocean is like a big puddle, just with lots of waves, dangerous fish, and dead and rotting things.

So when I was driving my truck in a rain storm three weeks ago and saw a large puddle in the middle of the road, I simply could not resist. My middle daughter was with me, and I am not one to disappoint them with boredom, so I shouted, "Here we go!"

The wall of water was impressive. We were blinded and I am sure would have soaked someone 10 feet away if it were not already raining like crazy.

But that is when it happened. My truck died. A little sputter, a little kick, and then it died. Never one to let my daughter know I made a mistake, I announced that it was surely just the coil that got wet and shorted out. It wouldn't be long before we were back on our way.

After a few minutes I kicked it back on. Took some cranking, but it started. But that is when I first noticed something seriously abnormal. There was a knock, knock, knock coming from under the hood and an incredible cloud of white smoke coming from the tailpipe.

It ran roughly, so I drove it home (just another block) and parked it. I was still convinced it had to be something minor...how could it be otherwise? It was just a puddle!

I tested everything electical. No problems there. So, at the prompting of a friend, I tested the cylinder compression. On the driver's side, the first tested at 80 pounds...way too low, but still workable. but the last one on that bank tested at zero. Yes, zero. If you have ever done a compression test, you know a zero is awefully hard to come by. Usually there is *some* kind of pressure in there...I mean, it is supposed to have around 150 foot pounds of pressure...to go to zero is pretty significant.

Well, after taking half the engine apart to remove the head, I found the problem. W'hen I started scraping the top of the piston, it simply slid down the cylinder with no resistance. I had broken the piston rod...not an easy thing to do, but I had done it.

How, you might ask, did a puddle break your engine? Well, as absurd as it sounds, the water traveled through about 6 feet of air intake tubing, through the air cleaner, through the air intake manifold, and into the cylinders. Air and gas are normally the only things in there...they both compress to make an explosive atomized gas that makes the car go. Problem: water does not compress. So, piston comes up, something has to give.

So, what is the result?

I need a new engine. Or a new car. If you have either you would like to give me, just let me know.

Moral: Play in puddles, just drive slowly through them.